You should definitely look for a good therapist who can help you work through some of the trauma you described from your childhood. You have a lot of difficult stuff in your past, and it's easy to see that as a reason to drink. But there are better ways to handle it. And even if it's hard, which it is, you stand to feel a lot better about yourself for trying to work through your problems as opposed to just blotting them out every night. Stick around, there are always kind, supportive people here to help you.