Originally Posted by
sugarbear1 
people are living past 100 these days, I don't think you are middle life at 32, not yet!
Sheesh, me too. At 58, I'm not ready to be in countdown mode for the old folks' home. You're never too young or too old to decide you are done with dysfunction.
I think talking with a lawyer is an EXCELLENT idea. You don't have to go all the way to adoption (because without his consent the court would have to terminate all his parental rights, and that IS a very long process). But a guardianship is much faster and easier to get because all it means is that the kids can stay with you and you can take care of them and make decisions on their behalf--school trips, medical care, etc. That's really all you need to accomplish in the short term. Maybe adoption is something that could happen in the future, but you don't have to figure the whole thing out at this point. All you need to do is to figure something out that would allow them to be in your loving and protective care.
Given the history of abuse, a protective order still might be an option, as well, which would allow you to stay there WITH the kids until other arrangements can be worked out. Talk to the lawyer about ALL your concerns and all the options. There are many ways to skin the proverbial feline, and a good lawyer can help you sort through them.