Thanks guys for all the support and compassion. I'm afraid that sobriety isn't going to improve my mental health. I was diagnosed with bipolar II after I was sober for several months and still had serious problems. Even the right meds only do so much. I'm scared to deal with this for the rest of my life without alcohol. I don't really believe people when they say it will get better with sobriety. Yes I'm sure to some degree it will, but I'm scared about the times when it doesn't and I can't get away. I guess I have to toughen up and learn how to deal with it, but that is a very daunting task. I just have a low tolerance for negative feelings and am feeling pretty sorry for myself. I have to learn how to live, and that seems impossible right now.