I really like what Carl said about banishing negative thinking. OK, maybe I wasn't able to banish it.... but I did start to identify the negative thoughts as they came, and I chalked them up to my addiction. The doubts, fears, temptations, resentments, and maybe most of all, the self-pitying "why me?" thoughts—all those things I realized were products of my addiction, something the addiction used to try to break me down, and weaken my resolve. The truth was, as hard as things were, they were better than before. For the first time in a long time, I was making progress. I was trying, not just trying, but doing. Yay for me! So the negative thoughts made no sense—unless it was the voice of my addiction.
Once I took all the negative thoughts and labeled them "the voice of addiction," it became a lot easier to ignore them. It wasn't me who wanted a drink or doubted my ability to make it through the day—it was my addiction saying that, whispering lies in my ear, trying to make me doubt myself. Once I recognized that, it became a lot easier to dismiss them entirely. And I reminded myself that if I could just make it another day, the addiction would be that much weaker, and I would be that much stronger.
You are making great progress, even if it feels like you are standing still.
You are doing great—you can and will escape the gravitational pull, just keep taking it step by step. That's how even the biggest mountains are climbed.
