In the most stressful of times, I try to focus on my goal of sobriety in the bigger picture knowing that with each success my brain is retraining itself to be able to cope without alcohol. Each time I make it through a tough spot, I gain more confidence. I see that I really can deal with it. Life throws us curveballs sometimes, and those are the times when we dig deep, and find our real strength.
Sorry you are struggling hard right now. I know dealing with the aftermath of a surgery really wears on all those involved.
SR is a great support online of course, but maybe you'd benefit from one on one counseling, another AA group you might not have tried, Women For Sobriety, etc.