I am not a long timer-97 days sober-but what I do is play back the tape in my head of what made me want to be sober. I don't want to go back to those days. I also have a lot of stressors and have always felt guilty taking time for my self. Not anymore. I need it. So every afternoon, I take a half an hour for just me and my vanilla latte.
You need time for you even if it is just something simple. You could try AA again. As Dee said, you have nothing to lose.
I hope your husband recovers soon.