It sounds like this "friendship" has been all about her. Just like an alcoholic marriage, there you are all worried about what she is thinking while she is doing whatever she wants and you are consumed with guilt.
My thought is that you were more than willing to set aside your boundaries and go to her in her time of need. That is a friend..a good one. She said, more or less, don't bother.
When we set boundaries we cannot allow ourselves to feel responsible for how they are recieved. That is just a fact of life. If we did we would be right back in a position of being manipulated.
If I were a betting person I would guess that she has more respect for you today than she did before you "detached". If not and she is just plain pissed, well, you are a better person for the effort you have put forth to understand this disease.
((Hugs))
JT