Like I said to you earlier I didn't set out to use anyone, but y'know looking back, I undeniably did.
It was a great boon for me as a drinker to have someone who'd bail me out - not even materially, but emotionally...
support like that made it easier for me to drink cos I knew however bad things got, I'd have 'somewhere to go'.
It's an appalling way to think and act, but I did. I bartered with people's love for me, like a commodity.
I'm not up on your history Carmen but if you haven't read Melody Beatties Codependent No More, do read it.
I recommend it.
It may be as eye opening to you as it was to me.
D