I'm so blessed to read this thread. What a bright hope it gives me for my future. Ideally I would love for my A to be apart of it, but that is not reality. And the reality is that his issues go deeper than I initially thought. I want to be free to smile and laugh and breathe the fresh air again without his words whispering in my ear- putting me "back in my place". I don't think I can live the life I deserve with him. Why doesn't he just stop drinking, I always ask. Well why don't I just leave the situation? Maybe that is the question I should be asking myself. Thanks for this thread.