Originally Posted by
Dharmabum2012 
Hi I found this website and apparently I made an account a few years back when I was trying to get sober.
I am going to be going into an outpatient treatment centre next week and probably start attending AA meetings. I'll give you a brief summary of whats happened.
When I drink, I can never stop, no matter what I tell myself before I drink I always want more. This has been an issue for 4 or 5 years now and its complicated with cocaine use when I drink, which makes it so I drink copious amount and stay up into the wee hours of the day/night. I have been an expert on hiding my binges from people that are close, my work has noticed and tried to set me up with counselors etc but I soon learnt to not call in sick.
Anyways this past Friday I went out with some friends to a concert. Harmless right? wrong. We had some beers, took a little mdma, it was great. After the show my friends left and I decided to go meet up with my brother. Soon after I ran into my cocaine dealer and from there I really cant remember what happened. I woke up SUNDAY afternoon in some random car parked in a random parking lot. No recollection of what had happened the rest of friday or saturday. I had not showed up to work and my parents had filed a missing persons report. I have never seen my parents so upset and it really bothers me.
I have been seeking help for my drinking through counselors, and I am going through cognitive behavioural therapy for my anxiety. I just feel like this is the last straw. I am slated to start school in a few weeks and it is in a professional career where I'll be dealing with mentally ill/addicted and I really can't be doing this **** while being a professional.
Anyways thanks for listening, I have contacted all my close friends/drinking buddies and told them I can no longer drink etc, I am hoping by surrounding myself with people who want me to get better it will help the process.
Any advice would be appreciated
Thank you
EDIT: I binge drink about 4 times a month (may not seem like alot but I am not feeling well for a few days after due to the amount I drink)
hi, I am am not sure that I am in a position to give anyone advice. I am on day 4 and have not had a dry week in over 10 years. This week I will succeed in that.
I am like you in that I don't drink everyday and also that my binges last multiple days where literally anything can happen. It is wild, out of control drinking. Not getting arrested etc but drinking without any limits. I don't mix with drugs.
Here is what I wanted to tell you.....about 2 years ago or so when my binges started getting REALLY heavy it was about the same time that I started to panic about my work. I have always worked hard and we were going through a tough time at the time so I attached the panic to my job and not my drinking. I thought I was drinking to cope with the anxiety. Big, big mistake.
It only occurred to be (two years too late) that it was my bingeing that was causing anxiety, even panic attacks. It simply never occurred to me that I was on a downward spiral of stress/anxiety and heavier binges.
Honestly, I really wish that I had confided in someone about this a couple of years ago because it seems so obvious now. But I am a proud person and stubborn as hell. On this one, I have been humbled. Maybe there is something in my story for you to relate to.