Welcome Dharma...
Sometimes those of us who succumb to reckless binges as opposed to having to start the day off with Jack in our coffee ..struggle much more with the acceptance that we simply must not dance with that devil..ever again. For me..it's Russian Roulette..
It could be a glass of wine..
...Or I could be waking up in Vegas with a serial killer. Although as I aged, I certainly drank daily a lot more often...
It was the insanity of never knowing what was going to happen if I put it to my lips... that made me hold up the white flag.
Given your screen name, here's one for ya..
"My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them"
- Jack Kerouac