Hi I found this website and apparently I made an account a few years back when I was trying to get sober.
I am going to be going into an outpatient treatment centre next week and probably start attending AA meetings. I'll give you a brief summary of whats happened.
When I drink, I can never stop, no matter what I tell myself before I drink I always want more. This has been an issue for 4 or 5 years now and its complicated with cocaine use when I drink, which makes it so I drink copious amount and stay up into the wee hours of the day/night. I have been an expert on hiding my binges from people that are close, my work has noticed and tried to set me up with counselors etc but I soon learnt to not call in sick.
Anyways this past Friday I went out with some friends to a concert. Harmless right? wrong. We had some beers, took a little mdma, it was great. After the show my friends left and I decided to go meet up with my brother. Soon after I ran into my cocaine dealer and from there I really cant remember what happened. I woke up SUNDAY afternoon in some random car parked in a random parking lot. No recollection of what had happened the rest of friday or saturday. I had not showed up to work and my parents had filed a missing persons report. I have never seen my parents so upset and it really bothers me.
I have been seeking help for my drinking through counselors, and I am going through cognitive behavioural therapy for my anxiety. I just feel like this is the last straw. I am slated to start school in a few weeks and it is in a professional career where I'll be dealing with mentally ill/addicted and I really can't be doing this **** while being a professional.
Anyways thanks for listening, I have contacted all my close friends/drinking buddies and told them I can no longer drink etc, I am hoping by surrounding myself with people who want me to get better it will help the process.
Any advice would be appreciated
Thank you
EDIT: I binge drink about 4 times a month (may not seem like alot but I am not feeling well for a few days after due to the amount I drink)