checking in on me
He knows. He knows I know. I haven't laid a guilt trip on him, but I can tell he has one that's self imposed. With every bible study there is something spoken about addiction or habitual sin and I can see him squirm. I guess at least he squirms.
He calls just to check up on me this afternoon. I suspect about now is when he really wants to drink. Stress is at high levels at work. The medical industry is on shaky ground right now, at least the part he is involved in. So he checks on me and then asks for me to pray for him and the business because it has been a particularly difficult one. No, he hasn't been drinking, I can tell by his voice -- no slurring. He ends the call by making a point to say he loves me.
I can just feel the uneasiness thru the phone tho we are very polite, but then we are almost always civil/polite, last Friday not included and he was the rude one.
How do you just "feel" all that you need to feel so that it doesn't bottle up and cause more stress upon stress? If the cure was to stuff the stress I would be a grade A student. I don't know where to put it, I just know its not good to hang on to it. Am I making sense?
Im not sounding it at the moment, but I am so much better off than I was a year ago and I'm so thankful.