Hi welcome to the forum and to SR
Sounds like an issue that is caused by drinking do you think that if drink is causing this problem then drink will solve it....the simple answer is No this cycle will worsen and repeat
Then comes your next question which you already answered
The Answer to your biggest question is are you an alcoholic ? only you can answer that but just know that i am 32 and ive been sober 16 months do you think id stay sober if i was getting a bad deal out of sobriety
i had the same fears as you