Cr, you are so so right. I sit in my new living room with my dog and just smile. I love that it is my home. I am fixing things and doing stuff that I always did in my old home. I now realize that the day to day operations were all ME. He would repair big things , but every day things are me. So life really hasn't changed much. The last couple of years he was always at the bar so I did most of all my stuff alone anyway. So really no big change there, either.
I find myself not caring where he is, or who he is with or what he is doing. While we were living together I was obsessed with all of that. This is the first time in 30 years that I am living my life, I am not living through his life. WOW!!
I am seeing, that he is now reaching out to my 20 and 22 year old daughters. Something that he always thought he did, but truly never did. That is a bonus that I didnt expect.
Biggest regret- I waited so long to respect myself and leave. It really is about respecting yourself and not tolerating horrible drunken behavior. You are right, our relationships with A's are not normal!!