I think one of the main problems when living with an 'A' is that we think of this as 'normal' life . It is not.
Absolutely! And I also think we spend so much energy just keeping our noses above water that a lot of the time, we simply don't have the energy to reflect on our lives. It's like we're always running around putting out fires.
Al-Anon was a lifesaver for me, too. It gave me an hour to myself, when I was surrounded by people who got it. And when I started talking about my situation to other people, I slowly started realizing how dysfunctional it was. But it took a lot of courage to admit how bad it was -- which meant that somewhere, I
knew it wasn't normal.