Sorry, AF, that came out more intensely than I intended. Maybe. I just think that you are a really intelligent woman, with a great deal of insight, but are always focused on other people & your responses to them & their responses to you.
I think it is important for us to understand all aspects of our lives, & our social & familial relationships, but this is not the reason we drink or don't drink. That part is about you. All the other stuff is just backstory.
I guess I just see you surrounding yourself with this wall of stories. As though loneliness or sadness is related to the way others interact with us, rather than purely our perspectives...
Again, sorry for the unvarnished comments. I actually do care about your process, & felt that just being sweet & supportive might not be what you most need...
My mother once said "honey, that's why they call it brutal honesty..."