have a read of the st Francis of Assisi prayer
just read it like a page of a book rather than a prayer and see what it makes you think about there is a link to it here, i dont belive in god or religeon but these words hit me hard as to how i should be trying to live my life rather than the other way around
Peace Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi :: Catholic News Agency
or try this from the bible about what it says love is
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage...nthians+13:4-8
read what love really is and see if you can honestly say you feel anything like that ?
for me i didnt and i was shocked to understand what my way of loving really was, i was so selfish it really did make me look at me and how nuts i really was when i came to understand what love really is
one saying used to really hurt me as i hated it was
when someone walks away from you to be with someone else then you should be happy for them that they can find happiness and not feel anger or hate or mean things towards them
just be happy for the time you have had with them and be grateful for it etc
now who in there right mind will be happy for an ex partner who has just left them for someone else ?
yet to be honest it really is the way to try to live as that is real love when you can let someone go to be with someone else or let them go to do there own thing and manage to put your own hurts on hold or dont show them
have a read of them links and see if you are like that in your living or if your the other way around ?
if your the other way around then how about just trying to change things a bit and try to do some good things when your head is telling you to do something bad ?
you will be amazed how good it will make you feel when we do start to try to live the other way around
good luck to you
i had to learn how to practice doing opposites in my life and it works so long as i put the effort in and work at it
there is also a good book called the language of letting go that can give you some deep insight into things