Thread: Over-sharing?
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Old 11-14-2014, 04:10 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
EndGameNYC
EndGame
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
What you're describing, NightNDay, is perfectly natural. I've witnessed it several times here, in IOP and in AA. I've also seen it in people who've been able to FINALLY lose weight after years of failure or among those who have stopped smoking. The zeal and rigor of describing something along the lines of a rebirth or personal epiphany can be wearing for others and is not easily trusted. Or even welcomed.

Another problem with widespread disclosure is that you cannot unring the bell. You can always tell someone about your deliverance later on. After you have some more sober time, and if things go well, you'll find your own voice, grow into the person you know you can be, and see life very differently than you do now.

Getting sober -- just getting healthy generally -- I believe, requires an acceptance and understanding of the important differences between our feelings and whether or not and how we act on them. And how we process them when we don't act on them.

As far as enhancing your accountability...you'll also be challenged by what can be the immense pressure you might feel after letting the cat out of the bag. How do you explain yourself when the inevitable emotional downturns occur? Will you feel the urge to defend yourself when your enthusiasm about sobriety becomes less intense, even absent? The pressure itself can evolve into a trigger for relapse.

I generally prefer acting over thinking or extended planning, but timing and context are everything. It can take years of learning about ourselves and a great deal of practice to become decisive and to be in a position to live with the consequences of our decisions. You don't need to deal with any of that right now. Staying sober is enough of a task, and generally requires our undivided attention.
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