I also find this thread really interesting.
First of all, you wonder about progression. I don't think there's any thermometer to tell us when our partners/loved ones have crossed over into some other territory that demands you take action. As others have said--it all depends upon how whatever he's doing is impacting your life.
You're thinking, "I've been able to detach and deal now, but will it get even worse?" If I compare your situation with mine, I have been married 37 years, and my AH was also sober for a period of time--in my case 5 years, from 1999-2004. During those 5 years he built a business, grew to the point where he had to move out of his home office. He hired an assistant, then an editor (he's a video producer), then two more producers, then expanded the office, then was getting offers from venture capitalists.
Then he relapsed.
Within 2 years, two of his employees quit because he was disrespectful to them, his ability to get new gigs dried up, he had to move from his office back to his home office, lay off his editor, and the business loan he took out for a big potential project in China became a huge liability (mainly to me, the foolish cosigner) because that gig just evaporated.
That was OK, he still had some gigs he could do on his own, and his kids were in their early 20s, and all their friends loved him because he was so cool to be with at tailgates and parties. Then what happened? The friends matured. One New Year's Eve his son asked him to leave the party because he was feeling uncomfortable with the vibe his dad brought to the party.
So now, 10 years after his relapse, his video work has dried up completely. He hasn't worked in a couple of years, and his self-esteem is in the gutter. That peeing thing? Happens all the time. I'm the person who tells him he should change his pants because he stinks. He doesn't even get mad at that.
His mother died, and left him some money, and he blew through it within a year, so now he is broke. His bank closed his account.
He used to disparage his brother because his brother has a minimum-paying job--he's call him a loser, lazy b**tard. I want to suggest to him that maybe his loser brother could get him a job, but I don't.
Just like you, we'd go out and of course we might get into a fight because he'd drink more than he should and he'd make some irrational case against me for parking the wrong way, or taking the left EZ pass lane instead of the right. But we don't fight anymore because we don't go out anymore. I won't go to bars with him. And he won't go anywhere unless he can drink.
We all thought his new 8 month old grandson would shake him up. My DDIL, bless her heart, has set firm boundaries on when he can see his grandson. As a result, he has seen his grandson only 4 times, even though we live just 15 minutes away.
We all thought his stern warnings from his gastroenterologist, and an uncomfortable procedure would shake him up. His GI told him he can't drink for 4 months; otherwise, there's no point in the treatment, and his response was to go on a week-long bender.
So he has no money, no bank account, no credit, no job, no social life, abandoned hobbies, and a disintegrating relationship with his son and restrictions on his relationship with his grandson.
That's progression.
And where do I fit in? Do I STILL ask myself whether I should leave or not? Yes. I'm still where I was back in 2004 in many ways. I'm better at detachment. I like to think of myself as healthy, but I think I spoke the truth to AH recently. He was bemoaning his alcoholism and crying that he needed to do something but felt ashamed at his addiction. I said, "Don't be ashamed. Everyone is addicted to something." And he said, "You're not!"
And I said, "yes I am." He asked, "What are you addicted to?" And I told him, "You."
Final word: I have often held my own codependency and my own long history with my AH up here in these forums as a cautionary tale for others who, like you, want to know what the future might hold them, and so I'm doing the same for you.
(sorry for the long post--I didn't know it was going to come out this way).