Thanks so much for all replies, as I posted in the nar-anon, I don't feel guilt out of what I had to do, the guilt I am feeling now is moving on, I have joined al-anon, I get out now and start to have some fun, even brought my golf clubs back out. But I feel guilt of him not in any recovery and it seems to me getting worse, like I said in the nar-anon, I feel that I have locked a puppy outside in the cold rain for peeing in the house.
Rose