If you can find my posts here, you'll find that I just filed for divorce from my AH. I did this because despite loving him, first I know there is no solving or working on our marital problems as long as his addiction needs to be treated first. Even if he ultimately goes into treatment and gets clean, he has probably a year or longer to resolve on his own how to learn to live without his drugs plus whatever demons that lead him down that path. Realistically, I know I can't expect that my husband, even if he started tomorrow, can even begin to work with me on repairing our marriage for probably another few years at least. Can you wait that long? Put your life aside for that? Addicts have so much to overcome before they can focus on anyone but themselves. The added pressure of being in an relationship that is also having issue is probably not best at this time for both of you. You can still be supportive as a dear friend if you choose to but you may not want to be intimately involved right now for both of your well being.