Thanks everyone for your advise, thoughts, and prayers. I didn't drink. I realize that I spend a lot of time planning my day around how I would get my alcohol. Since almost all of my drinking is secretive, you can imagine the lengths I have taken to keep the lie in tack. I would actually travel out of town to go to bars and while at the bars I would situate myself to see who was coming in the doors of the bar in case I had to sneak out the back. At work, I smuggled my booze into my office in my computer bag and had created a secretive liquor cabinet. I had to keep up the facade. My real problem is my pride.