Agreed on the no children allowed at the wedding, the dancing alone is the fun part. If we communicate, no drinking at all when visiting us than that's ok. My mil is a nice person even when drinking (annoying nice when drinking) it's after she's been drinking that's where mean things are said, I have no desire to let them babysit just to make them happy, not at the risk of my daughter. I think your agreement with your husband shows great respect to each other. If I'm not comfortable with it, than no and the same respect vice versa.