Originally Posted by SeekingGrowth

This is a really great thread. I agree that this forum should be linked somehow to the main F&F forum - I too didn't realize it was here, and wouldn't have stumbled on this thread if it weren't for a PM alerting me to its existence.

So many parents are made to feel guilty for reacting to their addicted child with kindness, compassion, and efforts to protect - all hallmarks of a loving parent. We are told we are "sick" because we love and want to help our addict. Concepts such as codependency, detachment, "no contact", tough love, and enabling are thrown around by well-meaning people in black-and-white fashion, and I think often do more harm that good - to relationships, to families and loved ones, and to the addicts themselves. The concepts are often interpreted in the harshest of terms, and are implemented by families against addicted loved ones in an attempt to control the addicts' behaviors.

We must never forget that we are dealing with a DEADLY disease. Harsh tactics designed to push an addict to "rock bottom" may backfire - rock bottom can mean death, leaving loved ones forever regretting that their last interactions with their addicted loved ones deliberately intensified their loved ones' pain.

Parents are very much in need of information regarding CRAFT, and it is unfortunate that it is not yet widely known. Instead, family support groups and rehab centers continue to push the idea that all people who love an addict are - must be - codependent ... simply because they love the person. I will never forget going to the first family group session at the second rehab my addict stayed at, and being told by the speaker - very authoritatively and very loudly - "You're all sick!" Really? You don't even know me....

Thank you, allforcnm, for starting this thread.