You soldiers (I was going to say ladies, but not 100% positive all are female, and besides we are in/have won the war for ourselves so we are indeed soldiers) are an inspiration to me!
Before this latest depressive dip - I think SeriousKarma called it the wall - I started getting excited about taking ice skating lessons (even bought myself some skates) and considering getting a moped/small motorcycle. Things I would never have imagined myself doing. I missed the skating lesson yesterday b/c I couldn't motivate to get out of the apartment and was crying all day long. I'm planning to go on Wednesday and really trying to set up the next few days to ensure I feel up to making it happen.
LexieCat & LillAmy - it's kind of fun discovering these hidden selves, isn't it? I can feel the joy in your notes.
IsItme - thanks for those insights. I have to work to flip it around instead of using it to blame myself (funny how the As blame everything else but themselves and we blame ourselves at the exclusion of everything else....)
I did read something that might help those of us that struggle with depression/getting down on ourselves. As humans we essentially have a finite reservoir of willpower everyday that replenishes itself overnight. When we are depressed our reserves get quite low and we even start our day at much lower levels than when we are feeling good. Over the course of a day these reserves of willpower can run dry handling all the activities of daily life leaving us prone to be less apt to nurture/take care of ourselves later in the day (it also speaks to why we can binge on our diets so easily at night but be strong as nails in the morning).
So if we can recognize this and try to do the handful of things that are most important in the morning (like self-care or pleasurable activities) that can help keep us on track. I know I sometimes also get down on myself for being down on myself and once I start down that path I find that at the end of the day I can barely move off the couch. e.g., don't be so hard on yourself if you aren't able to keep yourself "up" throughout the day- there are natural ebbs/flows to our daily willpower/energy too, not just our overall moods.