Your question made me go digging through my old posts - I wrote this in a response to another thread months ago.
I can deal with RAH baby-stepping through recovery at his own pace because ultimately I truly, deeply love the silly SOB. I find him funny & fun to be around when we aren't mired in recovery-speak. I am still physically attracted to him on a huge level & we've managed to keep a strong sex life despite everything. I love his gentleness with children & animals & his incredible talent as a musician. I love when he gets out his acoustic guitar & sings to me on our back deck like we're at a private concert for 1. I love that he makes me feel sexy & special & loved. I love a lot of things about him that were clouded or buried under his addiction & that the further he gets into recovery are starting to show through more brightly again. I love that he wants to be better & is striving for that even if he isn't a smashing success at it every step of the way.
I also love that he is the first to volunteer to help a friend or family member in need, but is also learning to put up some boundaries around that for those times when he's being taken advantage of. I love that I can tell he's been talking to family in TN because that slow, syrupy Southern Drawl in his voice (which is typically suppressed) takes front & center. I love that he is so much less judgmental than I am, all the while being generally more forgiving & capable of letting go & moving on. I love that he & DD dance around the house making up hilarious song parodies. I love that he's such a survivalist & if I'm ever lost in the wilderness I really hope he's there to help keep my City A$$ from starving & dehydrating. I love that he's literally pulled a man from a burning vehicle, saved people from drowning, has volunteered to help our fire & police depts. over the years & that he does it because he
truly loves helping others. I love that he & I can throw Simpsons quotes back & forth & laugh like kids even though we've heard those jokes & seen those scenes countless times over 2 decades. I love that we have as much fun running around Disney World as we do going to a heavy metal rock festival.
Stung reminded me about the little notes he sometimes leaves me - post-its on mirrors or pillows or my books which run the gamut from sweet love note to x-rated suggestions with a few jokes thrown in from time to time. I love the way he randomly just texts me a simple "I love you" in the middle of a workday. I really love that he Accepts & Trusts & Believes in me more thoroughly than I sometimes do myself.
He's got his flaws, for sure. But I can't deny the love.