I'll play. Only because when I'm pissed off at AH when he drinks and says "I love you" I don't ask him what that means but I ask him why. Why is he saying that he loves me?
I love my husband, to me, that means that I enjoy being around him and that his presence enriches my experiences in life and enriches my little family. And really, I do sincerely mean that. That's really the catch for me here because even though his drunken moments (at this point in our relationship) are much further apart and fewer between they are still so bad that they challenge the bevy of boring and good, fun times that outnumber his drinking days.
Additionally, I think I've written on here before about the 3 boxes theory. That emotionally everyone has 3 boxes inside of them. Box 1 are the qualities that are inherently yours, box 2 are the qualities that you have learned (in my case they are mostly ****** up, narcissistic, "ism" qualities - but hey, nobody's perfect) and box 3 are important lessons that you're learning on how to be a better more well rounded person (aka, recovery). I know what my husband has in box 1 and I love that stuff. I love that he loves college basketball and gets down right giddy about it, I love that he sings songs randomly about random stuff - he and our 3 year old have a made up song about "siiiiiinnnging a sooooooong", I love that he blushes, I love that eliciting laughs out of others absolutely lights him up, I love that he warms up my feet at night because mine are always freezing and his are always toasty, he used to write me poetry and still occasionally leaves me random love notes the little romantic gestures that are seemingly effortless but the most meaningful. His box 1 stuff, that's what I love, that's who is naturally is at the core of his being.
Lastly, I think it's fine to piece and parcel him like this right now because I imagine that he has to do the same thing to me. My box 1 stuff has a lot of good stuff in it too, but a lot of it is overshadowed by my box 2 assholeness, spite and anger. I'm not exactly a peach to be around sometimes and I'm codependent in that I look to him more than I should to have my needs met. It's in this regard that I think we are at an advantage in trying to grow as a couple because we are both growing as individuals as well…if only he would stay on course.
With all of that said, I don't stop loving him because he drinks. I really do believe that love is meant to be unconditional with conditional commitments surrounding the relationship to maintain it's integrity. At this point my marriage doesn't have many commitments that are being met.