Not missing work, maintaining a family life and friendships are ways that alcoholics prove to themselves that they are not alcoholic.
I'll bet that everyone who posts on here has written or thought that to themselves at one time or another.
Good luck on your 30 day effort. I suppose if you make it it will prove that you are not alcoholic and then you can feel better about drinking. The reality is that it sounds like you have a problem but then it is not my place to judge - but I guess I just did.
The fear of withdrawal and the fear of ACTUALLY QUITTING is the most notable of posts here at SR. It sure scared the shiit out of me. Lurk here and read and you will see your story repeated many times.
Again, good luck and please keep posting.