I do not mind being around the MIL. Just had a Mexican lunch with her and AH, her treat for my birthday at the end of Oct. The discord is with his sister, who will be there, and my husband. The sister does not like me and blames me for all my husbands problems.
History:
Last Christmas, I was volunteering doing gift wrapping at a local bookstore for my service organization. I counted the money on the evening of Dec. 22 and told AH I had $247.16. It was in a plastic bag on the end table between us. On Dec. 23, I go to the bank to make deposit. The deposit is only 197.16. Where was 50.00 missing. I text AH about missing $50.00. He tells me he knows I had it in a plastic bag, and I would just have to replace the money out of my own pocket. At home I ask him if he can help me replace half of the missing money. Then he asks me if I think he took the money, I said no. He continues to think I accused him of stealing money. Then he texts his sister and tells her I "basically accused him of taking money from service org. Then he calls his mother and tells her I accused him of stealing money. Meanwhile at home, he is belittling me for my money tracking. Where was my ledger. Was I sure I had that much money. I had an Accounting degree, did I count right. I went to store and on the way MIL calls my cell and asks why I accused him of stealing money. AH was so upset. Unfortunately, I felt the need to defend myself and started telling her things about AH she did not know. How he smokes pot, some of lies he has told me. She said he smoked pot when younger, but does not anymore. He is 55 and has been smoking since 17, plus he drinks lots of beer. I left for my Midwest state on Christmas Day.
In my home northern state, I get text from AH, asking what I told his mother as he got text from sister saying I was on her **** list, and I was so rude to their mother.
When I got back, I saw texts asking when his pain in the side wife got home and she wanted my Christmas gift from her and her husband returned. She also said I was going to have to do some serious talking if I was to attend any future family functions. Later in Jan. This sister told me I had major insecurities and needed professional help!!
In Feb. this sister unfriend me on FB, and still insisted I return my 2 gift cards for $100.00. I finally return them on Feb.21 with a hand-written apology, but she never accepted the apology. She and her husband invite my husband to events as a single and have been doing it for years. Sister does not want he at social events when MIL not there.
I have been to a few family dinners this past summer, but I can tell she does not like me. Earlier this year my AH told me I was not family, I was just his wife. If I was not invited to Thanksgiving or Christmas, he was still going to be with his family who live in our town.
My husband has made a lot of uni-lateral decisions in the past 6 months. This Thanksgiving one felt like another one. So to tell me he plans to spend all day with his mother, just did not sit well with me.
His whole family is in denial about his problems as he hides it well. I think he was out of pot on Dec. 23 and detoxing. He is very irritable when detoxing, which he is doing today. I have to watch what I say when out of pot as the verbal abuse starts if irritated!
I will not be going north for Christmas this year as my Mom died in May. Big change for me.
Thanks for reading. I may escape to cabin as spending all day with his family will be boring as heck!