Welcome! I definitely relate to your post. I was always an every 3 to 4 day (bar) drinker. The consequences started piling up and it got to the point where I looked in the mirror one day and said "why the heck am I doing this? This isn't even fun! This is a NIGHTMARE!" It was actually very depressing at the end. I was on that drinking merry-go-round for a long time.
Now I am staying sober one day at a time with the use of this website (SR) and AA. So far so good & I'm starting to feel better.
I'm constantly plugged into some sort of recovery tool these days. I don't want to go back to drinking. It became absolutely miserable and that was motivation for change.
Hang in there! If you want to quit drinking and change your life...you can! :-)