Hello everyone - my last post here was positive, I had found a therapist who specialises is addiction, and we had drawn up a comprehensive plan together, I felt for the first time I had hope!
Then disaster struck, I sustained a serious neck injury which left me in agony and semi-paralysis. I went to a spinal unit and now have bolts in my neck, lol. I'm a lot better physically but still off work.
I had managed to taper my tramadol use to only one in the morning and one at night - alcohol was the next thing to tackle after I quit the tramadol.
I was in so much pain I was washing the tramadol plus liquid morphine down with alcohol - not to abuse it (for the first time ever) but to get some relief - I'm telling the truth it was such terrible pain, I didn't care if I overdosed at times.
Now I'm recovering, and I'm drinking still, and taking more painkillers than I have ever taken. I have a very good job, I'm returning in three weeks and have to sober up in that time. Unfortunately I can't afford to pay for the therapist now my pay is down, due to my sick absence.
Not asking for sympathy, just want to share with you all how I'm going to have to really start again!
During my hospital stay, I vowed to care for my body and never abuse it again, as experiencing total helplessness and pain was terrible. But no, as soon as I was home I opened the wine again - and now everyone feels sorry for me and the doctors will give me whatever I ask for, due to the serious nature of my injury.
So, here I go again, arghhhh
