I'm all for heartily welcoming back those who go out. I'm also all supportive for those who expect to be welcomed back. We're family of a sort, yeah?!
Having said the above...
I don't for a second believe a sober drunk can go from sobriety to drinking without wanting to go there, planning to go there, and feeling justified that they again have a drink in hand. Speaking for myself, I tried for like 6 years to quit for good my alcoholic drinking. Following many failures in those 6 years, I finally stayed quit age 24 and stayed sober more than 33 years now. This is my experience.
Obviously inside of my 33 years have been times I could have gone out. Any day of those thousands of days of sobriety was as good as any other to go out and have myself a drink or two... or three and so on and whatever.
I can't tell you how disappointed I am in the idea that always floats up to the top as a consensus that we must keep a vigilance or else our alcoholism will ruin our sobriety, that somehow we missed the mark, that somehow **** happens with alcoholism, and drinking is always something which must be avoided at all costs no matter what yada, yada, yada.
I did keep vigilance for those early years as I morphed my lifestyle from street existence to living back in and with society. After a time though, vigilance becomes its own kind of slavery, and so I quit being vigilant on staying sober as a remedy to my alcoholism. What is the point of being sober and at the same time being concerned about future drinking?
There are sober contributors to this thread I deeply respect. There are also some contributors I have come to realize will themselves eventually go back out sooner or later. So be it. Not everyone wants to be as free as they make it out for themselves, and they feel more themselves if they carry a burden on their backs as they tramp through their life journey. Ironically, freedom itself is a burden of sorts of course, since with freedom comes irrevocable responsibility and lasting consequences. All too often what people talk and what people walk is prejudiced against the very freedoms they claim with their brave 'sober' talk, imo. Actions speak louder than words in any language, yeah?
I'm glad you are back yeahgr8.
I feel sad for you on many levels nonetheless.
I don't for a second believe what you have said as your reasons for going out. I also don't support that just getting on with life is the best remedy going forward after dumping 5 years of not drinking for a night of drinking for whatever reasons were justified.
Well, there it is. I believe ongoing vigilance against future drinking causes more relapses and returns to drinking than does just eventually being done with alcoholism, and eventually moving on with a new life which does not burden itself with alcoholism.
I'm a recovered alcoholic drug addict. Nothing in being recovered requires me to be vigilant against what I have already recovered from goes without saying...