We need to get a little selfish and that is hard on the other people in our lives. We want to be better now and they want us to be better now. Many do not understand that we need the time and space to work on us so we can be there for them. So many have been robbed of precious time already and they do not understand the obsession.
YEP! people want us better but dont always want to have to deal with the recovery aspect either. We all seem to think we can just snap our fingers and wala problems solved. It takes time.
I like gracielous other points as well. You have to handle what you can handle making sobriety the priority.
When i sobered up a LOT of things had to be put on the back burner while i dug in and got selfish about ME getting better. Getting sober was probably one of the most selfish things I ever did in my life. It was all about me.
I'll be honest staying healthy fit sober is also rather selfish of me becuase it does take some focus off other things and on to me. But I have to be healthy and sober if i'm going to be good for those around me.
I sometimes wonder if my wife would like me to eat garbage food plump up and jump back in the pit with her and I simply cant.
Its ok to put some things on the backburner while you buckle down. Address thigns later or dont.
I'm very good at finding peoples imperfections then deciding i hate them and want nothing to do with them. Its really amazing I have any friends or a spouse at all. But why do I even have a couple friends and spouse then? Because I accept them for who they are. Why do they get this special privaledge from me and not others? I dunno I guess cause I love them?
You may find in time your wife just is who she is and you can accept it or not. She may change she may not.
I've had to just figure out how to accept the things I coudl not change. I cant change my wife. She is who she is.