Hiya gang...
...Thanks for the comments and input.
I confess, I'am a Chronic relapser. Maybe she doesnt know when I'am "On"...or "Off" the alcohol but I'am sure she has HAD to notice the last 5 months when I didnt drink on holiday's...or at the beach or the lake, etc.
No. We dont communicate the way we should. I try to talk to her about things and most things...she doesnt want to hear. Trying to get her to put her tablet down and LOOK at me...and discuss these things...It's like she is being inconvienced.
I admit. There is a lot of resentment and animosity in our relationship. I retired early. 10 yrs ago at age 51 because I planned it that way. She still works because she made no plans at all. I actually work harder around our place than I did on my job ! She resents I dont "work"...and she "Has to". She doesnt really "have to" and I've told her this. I think she likes to work. To her it is a social event. When she gets home...she's on the couch doing very little else.
MY biggest resentment has been the fact that since our only child was born 21 years ago, we have had NO intimacy of any kind in our marriage. NONE! She doesnt want it. I have asked her over and over...WHY? She say's..."I dont know". I have encouraged her to see the Doctor (hormone therapy)...she wont have anything to do with it. I have never considered cheating as an option. I'am starting to re-consider. Dont let my age fool you. I'am 61 but am still 21 in that "Dept".
I guess this is probably a little too much information. If I'am "Airing" my dirty laundry in an in-aproriate place I'll let "Dee" be the judge. He may relocate the thread to another location. I fine with that.
There has been a LOT of very good, sound advice from you fine people and I thank you very much! I'am going over each and everyone of your reply's. It's better than talking to a therapist (sp) because a lot of you are familiar with how a drunk's mind works!
I hear alot about how I have "Perceived' things, be they right or wrong...it's just how I see them...and I'am wrong more times than not. A lot of the insight you fine people are offering is a tremendous amount of help !!!
Thats enough for now. Thank You everyone for helping me to look at myself...my life...and my alcoholism...and my recovery, from a different "angle".
Thank You
Dave