I imagine if you sit down and wrote out the story, the whole story, of this relationship you would SEE that he really wasn't as awesome as you now have him bulit up in your head. and that for every "I Love You" he said there was at least if not twice as many putdowns, arguments, silent treatments, rage and other outbursts. while perhaps he never layed a hand on you (or maybe he did and you minimized it as "not that bad") you were in a Cycle of Abuse....and you became his Intermittent Chicken.
Lots of Tension Building, Blowups and then Make Ups/Honeymoon Period. You fear his rage but you know that is how you will also get the romance, the sweetness, the promises. so you become willing to accept the abuse to get your "payout" - the little crumbs you have come to consider Love.
When you know deep down this is NOT love. Love does not hurt, not like this. Love doesn't come at a price. Love doesn't demand we sacrifice our self respect or doubt our own truths.
Do exactly what the enforceable legal order says - Cease and Desist. quit asking Why, How. Stick with the facts. This is exactly what has happened and your job is to stay in today and move forward, leaving him behind, but taking the lessons forward with you as you go.