I went through this experience with my mother and sister...and it took 13 years...it was very hard and took all I had plus all the therapy, recovery, and everything else I could muster. Only recently did my therapist tell me (a new old one) that it was perfectly fine...it was, after all, my mother. She is an active alcoholic and is very narcissistic. I am glad I no longer feel the cravings around wanting her back in my life...I only 'woke up' to the fact that I came from two alcoholic parents when my 2nd daughter was doing crystal meth and I had her and even more me in every recovery based activity possible for me at the time. I am grateful for waking up...I am grateful for the work...I am grateful, in the midst of a great deal right now for God leading me through. Thank you for reminding me that I do believe in recovery...just because I am having to reach deeper now around my recovery doesn't mean I haven't done it faithfully...just digging in and gripping.