Pagekeeper

I had to learn this the hard way: No one is obligated to support you in your sobriety and you are responsible in finding your own support system.

For the first three months of my sobriety, my husband drank in the house. There was always a pint of Jim Beam in his office. He is not an alcoholic, but he enjoyed a few drinks after work. My getting sober did not mean he had to stop. He did stop drinking in the house after about 4 months, but not because I told him to. He stopped because he respected my sobriety. He saw me going to AA meetings every night. He heard me on the phone with my sponsor and with other women from the fellowship. He saw me reading the Big Book every night in bed.

You see, I had said I was going to quit so many times that it was just no longer believable to anyone. I had to do more than just say it. I had to show I wanted my sobriety. You ordered a beer just the other night--does that show your wife you are serious about sobriety?

My husband had to see the change in me before he let down his guard and gave up a few things. And I don't blame him one bit.