In my family, the worst thing you could do (after lying) was to be selfish or self-centered. I was frequently told "the world doesn't revolve around you!"
I was raised to be a codie!!
And it was taken to a ridiculous level. I will share the "Last Cookie" rule from my family. So there is one cookie (or piece of cake, pie, candy, pizza, whatever.) And you'd like to eat it. To just eat it was selfish and inconsiderate. You had to ask other family members if they wanted it. If no one said they wanted it (and most likely they wouldn't, because then THEY would be considered selfish), then you could eat it. But you asking in the first place was ALSO considered selfish (damned if you do, damned if you don't!) So no one ever dared ask. And the cookie goes stale and needs to be thrown out. Which then leads to the wasting of food rant.....ugh!
If you were to ask me, I had a pretty good childhood. But now I'm taking a closer look and discovering layers of dysfunction that have really shaped my codie-ness.