Felicia,I have been with my partner for 16 years and she is still "choosing alcohol over me",or rather she is unwilling to consider that she has an illness that requires her to use every tool in the kit if she is to have any chance of recovery.After all this time ,am I going to continue to be dragged along and destroyed as well? The short answer to that is "NO". I know in my heart that I'm not willing to live like this for the rest of my life-I have HAD to explain to her that much as I love her(and I do) I'm unable to watch her continuing to destroy herself when there IS help available .SHE has to want it,do you see that-that there is nothing we can do? I feel helpless,as has everyone here at some point when they have realised that there isn't a d--- thing they can do to change someone else-it really is true that the only person I have any hope of changing is ME . There is nothing selfish about making your own recovery no.1.I'm falling apart ,but know it's something that has to be done. . You have your whole life ahead of you-you deserve for it to be a good one.