bamawife....It think that something to keep in mind when discussing co-dependency is that when we engage in those behaviors before we attend to ourselves enough..or, continue even after they are harmful or neglectful)to ourselves in some way. In other words...when our own welfare does not come first.
To me..it sounds like your mother was kind and loving toward your friend. Adults should reach out and care for the young.
It is a lot about boundaries.
dandylion