Originally Posted by
dandylion 
Bamawife....I hear what you are saying....and, I have others on this forum express the same feeling (but I had a great childhood!).
For one thing....I think it is easy to be oblivious to the more subtle and less visible dynamics within our family that might be dysfunctional.
For the second thing....I think every single family can have certain areas of dysfunction.. but, not in others......and, yet, be functional in the overall. There sure aren't any "perfect" families, anywhere!
Another area that I don't think gets as much consideration as is due....there are many more areas of influence in a young person's life than JUST their own family sphere. Family only makes up one area of a person's total environment. Peers can be equally important....as well a neighborhood and community influences. (I could go on and on...LOL).
The best definition that I have heard for co-dependency is this: Co-dependency is not so much the relationship with another as it is a LACK OF RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE'S SELF....FOR WHATEVER REASON.
I just thought I would share these thoughts with you....
dandylion
That helps a bunch!!! There is a great deal of dysfunction in my family now that is due to one of my brother's. He is ALWAYS the victim regardless of the circumstance. I have detached myself from him. My mother is very codependent these days and although I love her dearly and will do what I can for her, I am having to detach from her in a few ways. She has started preaching about making peace with my brother, nothing is his fault because it's all his ex-wife's fault....blah, blah, blah. I simply state my opinion and change the subject. I tell her daily that I am only worried about my side of the street. Maybe my mom has always been codependent to some degree and I never noticed it??