Bamawife....I hear what you are saying....and, I have heard others on this forum express the same feeling ("but I had a great childhood!").
For one thing....I think it is easy to be oblivious to the more subtle and less visible dynamics within our family that might be dysfunctional.
For the second thing....I think every single family can have certain areas of dysfunction.. but, not in others......and, yet, be functional in the overall. There sure aren't any "perfect" families, anywhere!
Another area that I don't think gets as much consideration as is due....there are many more areas of influence in a young person's life than JUST their own family sphere. Family only makes up one area of a person's total environment. Peers can be equally important....as well a neighborhood and community influences. (I could go on and on...LOL).
The best definition that I have heard for co-dependency is this: Co-dependency is not so much the relationship with another as it is a LACK OF RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE'S SELF....FOR WHATEVER REASON.
I just thought I would share these thoughts with you....
dandylion