I go to alanon, theres a newcomer in my friday meeting- she's been going to various meetings for a month or so, I've seen her at others and we've chatted a few times "after the meetings". She noted how she's unable to discuss the situation with her AH with other family members (many of whom are addicts themselves), I've run into that too, even with non-addicts.. "civilians" who simply aren't aware of the issue. Discussing these things with people who have been there and understand is really helpful.
So our newcomer got her courage together and shared on the friday meeting and got a really good response from a number of other women in the group, including some of the longer-term members w/ strong recovery. After the meeting she told me she didn't know what to think about how the others in the group reached out to her. I'm glad they did, but reflecting on how her home/family life must be so as to make her unaccustomed to loving empathy and sharing makes me sad. Yet her determination to recover is inspiring. She is certainly a lot more open just since the beginning of October, she's discussed an improvement in her mood as well- even given how her AH adds so much stress and chaos.. lol she's working the detachment pretty hard, difficult to say how much of it is ferocious vs loving but it seems like progress.