Having a rough night...
I know it doesn't define me but I'm so frustrated that this is in my life story. "This" meaning...alcoholic husband, divorce, fear, pain, guilt, embarrassment, financial problems, sadness, disappointment, anger...ugh...I hate this!
Tonight I gave my AH an advanced copy of the divorce papers I'm filing on Monday. The sheriff will officially serve him later in the week but I thought it would be kinder to do it myself first and I was also hoping he would sign off on my parenting plan. He still might but hearing him say his whole life is a mess and the one thing he still had was us...I just feel awful. Things ARE a mess for him right now but it's mostly ramifications of his own actions. I know this is the best thing for me and I know it's also the best thing for our son but I hate hurting him. I have felt so strong and confident for the last six weeks and now I feel small and like I am just an evil b/&:$;tch. Going to do some Alanon reading, work on me and try get some sleep tonight. Hopefully things will look better in the morning. Thanks for listening.