I posted bout this on another thread recently. I was at a recovery meeting after a really tough day on the emotional roller coaster. I had spent all morning crying uncontrollablly..adding insult to injury by berating and shaming myself for doing so...
I felt like a beach ball adrift on a stormy ocean...there felt like there was no way to stop the ...emoting. I went for a run..I posted here...I called people..
I was trying to END the emoting. Ever hear the ole term.."what you resist, persists"?
Anyhoo...I shared with a recovery friend (she's only been bout 8 or 9 months sober herself) about my exhaustion and confusion and perplexity and struggle regarding the roller coaster..how the hell do I get off?
What she said was like magic...she said.."I now put cravings and emotions in the same category. You will get through it. They will pass. You won't die".
I could wrap my brain around that. I could grab (read: clutch for dear life) onto that concept. It helped me make sense .for me.
You see..when I was on that emotional roller coaster..I was curiously devoid of cravings for my substances of alcohol or cigarettes (yet I suspect there WAS still something I was craving and not getting ).
Don't resist your grief...allow it. We are all here with you Pam. Hang on...ride it through. It's normal..it's better than normal