Raider-
I am so sorry for your pain, and your fear. While I cannot compare our situations, I can say this, I recently went through some stuff with my parents and the terror almost paralyzed me. I couldn't think straight, I felt so lost and I couldn't find a way around it. Then something I read came back to me- feelings cannot hurt me. Letting the fear go, the anxiety go was the best thing I could do. So I did. While I understood that it was a scary situation, and it could get very, very bad, being afraid did not make it better or worse. So I let it go. It was just a feeling. It had no power over me. I could handle whatever came my way more easily if I wasn't afraid. "It's just a feeling" became my mantra, until the power of the fear let go of me.
I wish the best for you, and am so sorry for the loss of your sister.