You will stop crying all the time, Pam. You will eventually reach acceptance and you will then just cope with what comes, and remember the good times you shared with your sister. Sometimes later on it will still make you sad but you will realize that your sister being gone is simply what IS. All of it will be easier with less or none alcohol overall. I didn't read that in a book, I've done it, and I know you enough to know you will too. It just takes time.