Originally Posted by
Fez 
I have been married for 23 years until this past June to an AH. It was over a long time before the papers were filed. I totally shut down with him. I am- I think- ready for a new relationship. However, I want it to be a healthy one. I want what I've wanted for years. I know I don't need a relationship to make me whole. I want one. I don't need anyone to take care of me, I can do that on my own. I am self supportive- independent, all those things. My ExAH helped very much in developing my independence.
Lately I have been on those internet dating sites. I have went out with two men. Both nothing I would have for long term. I am frustrated that its not happening as fast as I would like. I want a boyfriend.
Am I being silly, or unrealtistic? Is it ok to want a boyfriend. I know I can live without one. I want the total package though and will not settle for anything less. I tend to find that most of the men on these dating sites are looking for just sex.
Good for you for getting out in one piece! You sound very strong.
No, you are not unrealistic or silly to want a real relationship. I don't think you should settle as I don't settle and know many women who also have not settled. It just takes time to meet people and "click."
I know 1 person who met her now husband on an internet dating site, but I know 5 people who have had TERRIBLE experiences on dating sites. In my observation of my friends internet dating isn't a good place to meet people, but I have never tried it so I don't know much about it other than those examples. Are you meeting people other ways?
You know, dating post-alcoholic-relationships could be a WHOLE NEW FORUM.