Originally Posted by
losteverything 
What else is there? I do not ask this with complacency. What else is there? I was miserable, sober. I did that until I had my head full of just being miserable. What else is there? Should I shoot heroin, should I smoke bowl full of dope...what? That hole will be there... and do I want to make my sobriety my new job? Should I do psychologists, AA forever, AV, forever? I think I have a terminal malady. I wish to live sober, but sober life sucks just a little less than drunk... and what does it bother anyway? we will be all dead in 20-30 years...
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You sound a lot like my brother. His favorite phrase is "nothing tastes" and he too has that fatalistic view that we are all going to "worm food" in the end so why bother. But YOU are bothering by posting here. YOU are reaching out for help. So there is something inside of you (you may not think so now) that wants life, not death. You want peace in sobriety, not pseudo-peace that chemicals bring. Worse case scenario- so what IF you have to make sobriety your new job? Isn't life worth it? We all have a terminal malady called life. It CAN be a good one...really!